From: Rupert Voelcker 
Subject: Tales from the Booth (long!)
Date: Mon, 24 Aug 1998 20:09:28 +0100


Unaccustomed as I am to writing reviews on umr.......

Well, Friday morning dawned to find me in the ideal state of mind for
what was to come later, due mostly to a whole week of not being able to
sleep properly with worry and this after a ridiculously heavy weekend at
the Beach Festy from which I hadn't really recovered.....and as the day
progressed my insides started to follow suit too - I had enough dumps on
Friday to make up for the total lack of them in Cornwall.....

The day at work seemed to plod on - eventually I escaped and went home
where I daren't do more than just look at my decks and mixer - afraid
that if I switched anything on and had a go it would all go horribly
wrong and I 'd have difficulty persuading myself to get on that train to
London - so I just did the 3 S's routine - shit (where was it all coming
from!), shave, shower - and got myself over to Ipswich Train Station to
meet Bart.

Tried to sleep on the train after having a good natter with Bart, who
did his best to keep me from worrying too much (he's not half as evil as
he looks in photos) - my main worry was the dreadful run through the set
I did the evening before (went for the planned order of tunes approach -
one less thing to worry about) - argghh, it can't go that bad - I hope!
- please, please, please....still the thought that it might kept my
brain suitably wired - needless to say, I didn't sleep....

Bart had to go off to meet Jim who'd come down from Wolverhampton at
Euston, so I was left to get to Dalston on my todd - no problem except
for the major worry opportunity of having no-one to talk to - still, the
lack of confidence that the bus I was on would go to the right place
kept me suitably occupied....it did go the right way, and I got there in
plenty of time, so I decided to nip into the Trolley Stop to see if
anyone was there - someone to offload my worries on to hopefully - and
there was a smiling Phil sitting outside the pub - I decided a
'medicinal' half pint wouldn't affect my performance too much and Phil
decided to buy it for me (thanks muchly Phil).  It didn't take long for
Marcus and Andrew to turn up as well....all did a fine job of keeping me
calm(ish) by talking (mostly - Andrew! ;-) ) about anything other than
what I had in store for myself later - I seemed to be wearing a fairly
relaxed and calm looking persona - but this was a far cry from how I
felt inside.....

Didn't stay in the pub for long.....I needed to get the first part of my
plan into place - get to the club early so I could have a play before
the punters were let in - get used to different mixer, find out what
things sounded like over a pucker system rather than the hi-fi at home,
get comfortable standing in the booth, see what it was like mixing
standing up - would my legs hold out?.......

Great plans as they say....there was almost total chaos in the club and
no familiar faces whatsoever (well I recognised a few, but there wasn't
anyone I actually knew) - there were speakers and bits of decor strewn
all over the place, and groups of people saying 'encouraging' things
like we're two mixers short (Rupert then prays that there may still be a
way out - no mixer - no play - I'd already not had my records nicked on
the train, hadn't been mugged, hadn't been run over by a bus, hadn't
'accidentally' left them anywhere).  Had a look downstairs where I was
to play and there was even less down here - just some speakers randomly
strewn around the floor.  I felt very alone and worried....had another
dump....

Then Matt turned up and started to do 'what can I do', 'do we have
lights downstairs', 'where's the decks for downstairs' type things and
stuff slowly started to happen - all the speakers that were downstairs
got moved upstairs (and they're not light or the easiest of things to
get up narrow staircases) - again, Rupert gets hopes up - no speakers,
no play....but alas, they were replaced by some smaller ones not long
after...slowly things got together - an amp appeared, the speakers got
arranged in a nice circular type fashion, lots of fluro question marks
and exclamation marks appeared on the walls (It'd've been more
appropriate for these to be hanging in mid air over my head) - I was
chain smoking thinking 'oh my god' type thoughts, and generally worrying
big time - put my stuff in the DJ booth - it was scary just being in
there - Matt was a total hero - lots of 'you'll be all right', 'don't
worry' and general relaxed like vibes radiated from him - lots of really
useful advice which I didn't have the capacity to remember at the time,
but I knew was really useful, so I nodded a lot and kept worrying. 
Eventually, the distraction of people trying to get the room set up and
Matts confident encouragement started to keep my mind off what I was
going to be doing later....

We should have been open half an hour ago and it looked like it was
going to be a while till we were ready, so I 'kindly' volunteered to cut
my set short (always helpful is our Rupert!) - Matt was having none of
it - 'you'll do your set - don't worry' - Thanks Matt! - perhaps he'll
change his mind later (I hoped) - then it transpired that we were a DJ
short downstairs which meant we all had time to do our full sets (oh
shit - no way out now).

Then horror of horrors - munters started to arrive - I think I saw
Browns first, followed by other familiar and not-so-familiar faces - oh
my God - still, there was hope yet - things still weren't working
properly - there was no mid or tops and only the left channel was
working - it might never get sorted, but after so many of my hopes for
escape had been dashed earlier I knew it was all going to come together
pretty soon - fate was on it's merry course and probably having a good
laugh at the state I was in......and, I hadn't had a practice at all -
biiiiig shiiiit.  I distracted myself by trying to help get the sound
sorted out and work out how to switch between the decks on the
headphones (as this would no doubt come in handy later) - then, all of a
sudden it was all working and the first record was playing - did I do
that? - here we go - I'd started - I'd only put the first record on and
hadn't even got the next one matched up, now I was the DJ - this was a
very scary moment, I knew it was going to get harder - after all anyone
in the room could have put on the first record - my heart was rattling
away, my hands were shaking, and adrenaline was racing all over the
place, but somehow I mixed the next record in - phew - not the best mix
in the world by a long shot - just bog standard fade from one to the
other, and a short one at that - but hands were now a little less shaky
- I started to relax a bit more - people were dancing - even people I
didn't know were dancing (was I hallucinating - no can't be, I've only
had half a pint and that was ages ago) - people looked like they were
enjoying themselves - I had to get the next record on, I think I even
managed a smile...

The next record was a total bitch - I couldn't get it matched up and it
kept jumping while I was trying to cue it - arghh - perhaps I should
blu-tack a coin on the top of the stylus......I seemed to enter a kind
of trance like dream Zen state and it didn't seem to matter too much
anymore - I was beginning to think that perhaps I was starting to enjoy
myself - Matt was still doing his wonders....checking I was OK, telling
me I was doing fine - staying close by - Bart gave me his water (my
mouth was unbelievably dry) - I made a point of making sure I looked up
to see what was happening in the room - tentatively at first in case it
was scary, but everyone was dancing and looked happy and the room got
fuller as I went on - this was really encouraging - all those lovely
umr'ers out there - smiling at me - and even better, I didn't know who
most of the people in the room were and they were dancing and smiling
too - I couldn't help but smile back - I was really surprised I could
talk to people - no idea what most people said mind - someone was
twiddling the mixers' knobs every now and then - I started to know I was
having fun.

Someone realised I didn't have a monitor and turned one of the speakers
round to face me - it was very close, so this was very loud - there's
loud and there's loud and this was at the loud end of the scale - I
couldn't tell if this made things easier or not, so I just got on with
it - the headphones had to go up a notch or two - now they were f'ing
loud - I was sure the cup was bouncing off my ear with each beat of the
record I was cueing.

When all was over, I realised I couldn't hear what I was doing at all
for some reason (despite this f*&k off loud speaker blasting right in my
face) - must've been some mental block caused by my trance-like state,
but it didn't worry me as I didn't really notice till I'd finished - my
subconscious had taken over and was doing really short mixes to
compensate - I didn't know if they were working or not - so just let it
get on with it.

Then came a record I knew I could drop bits of the next track all over -
which I tried to do - but as I had this mental block on hearing what I
was doing I had no idea if it sounded OK or not - Bart seemed to be
smiling on the other side of the room so I guess it wasn't going too
bad...but I exercised restraint to be on the safe side....Pete kept
popping up from nowhere armed with his camera taking pickies of me - on
most of them, I'll have this half smoked rolly hanging out my mouth -
I'd pre-rolled four ciggies to keep me going through the set, but I
still had the same one in my mouth when I finished as I had when I
started - I think a few times I lit the thing then immediately forgot
what I'd done and didn't even take a drag......

After what seemed like about 10mins, Matt asked me how much more I had
to go and I realised I was already around half way through - woooaaa - I
again used this opportunity to volunteer to cut things short, knowing
that the sooner it was over the less chance there was of me doing
anything seriously wrong - but he was still insistent on me getting my
full whack - bastard (but a very nice one - he knew I needed to, and I
didn't)...so on I went.....tried dropping odd bits of tracks on others
every now and then (mostly every then) - why didn't the mixer have kill
switches? - some of the mixes must've been 'just a touch' brutal - and
most were very short, but despite all this (and much to my amazement)
the room was pretty full by the time I finished - I even found time to
have the odd dance in the booth, smile at and make eye contact with a
lot of people in the room - it was such a great feeling to see people
having a good time to the music and it was me playing it (was this a
dream?)....

Matt played my last record out with some flashy messing around and got
people clapping - I didn't know what to do, so I clapped back - after
all it wouldn't have been the same without them....I needed to sit in
the back of the booth for a while to try and descend back towards
normality - when I emerged, everyone was really great - lots of really
nice things were said (thanks peeps) - I was feeling a mixture of
relief, a kind of nice warm happy satisfiedness, and total disbelief
that I'd actually done it (it was my aim when I bought the decks to play
in a London club - didn't think it'd happen quite as soon as this
though!) - went round hugging people - I was still not quite on planet
earth - in fact I was floating a few inches in the air for most of the
rest of the night.  I had a really good dance through an excellent set
from Matt - just the odd break for what must have been the best tasting
can of Stella I've ever had, the best spliff, and the best fresh air
which was to be found floating nonchalantly around in the garden....

I'd intended to do my first set somewhere more like a pub or club in the
musical backwaters of Felixstowe or Ipswich where people would have
noticed bad mixing less (if at all), but I'm glad I didn't....having a
room of people who appreciated the music really helped - I'd had mixed
feelings about a load of people I knew being there as well - would I be
able to face them again if it went horribly wrong? - would I have to
find something else to do at weekends? (knitting, train spotting...) -
should I have taken a disguise so no-one would recognise me after? - but
it was great to see all these people I knew having a good time - so a
huge huge thanks to everyone - even those who couldn't make it but
wished me well and gave me advice.....Phil C - your 'A good set of tunes
mixed badly is better than a bad set of tunes mixed well' was my mantra
while choosing what to play.....

And of course, a big big thanks to James for being enough of a nutter to
give me the chance to play, and for doing some very cunning and
underhand psychological things with my head, which he must have done to
make me agree to do it in the first place.  Never having heard anyone
doing their first set, I've got nothing to compare things to, but I was
sooo very happy with what I did - nothing disastrous happened, and I
didn't clear the room.....it was a touch frustrating not to be able to
hold any of the mixes for very long, but then I'm my worst critic and my
benchmark for comparison is what I can do in the nice familiar relaxed
surroundings of my living room, so I know I can do much much better -
but the 'buts' didn't distract me from having the best time.  I did it,
I lived through and enjoyed the experience and even got some cash at the
end which was a big bonus - I wasn't expecting anything at all.

All-in-all a great experience - if you've got decks and are thinking
about playing out - do it - it's well worth all the worrying....I've
still got a long long way to go, but playing out's helped me no end to
realise the sorts of things I need to practice to make the next time
better...although I might take this week off mixing as it's been a long
hard slog these last months - but then I can't see me spending a week
without touching my decks....have to see

Again, a big big thanks again to everyone

Love

Rupes =:-) (umr, Too Hard for Le Plage, Tribe of Munt!)

P.S.  Can someone confirm that this really happened....